What Is Happening?

The lines between “do I blog this?” and “or should I just journal this?” blur often. This is definitely one of those times. 

But I can’t help but share - as raw and unfiltered as it may be - my thoughts about the state of the world we are living in right now that if anyone were to read this, they could possibly feel some comfort knowing they’re not alone in what they may be feeling. 

I have been scared at the condition of our nation before, especially since becoming a parent, many times. School shootings. Hate crimes. Threats of home-soil war. They’ve all shaken me and made me question so much about my life and particularly my faith for a time. But restoration of my resolve would eventually return and I could find some sense of ‘normal’ to hang on to and right the proverbial ship again. 

But this? Today, January 30th, 2025? This all seems different. 

The first time Trump came into office, it was kind of like watching a celebrity game show. From my (very limited) perspective, he clearly didn’t necessarily know what he was doing and he certainly didn’t enact much during his pivotal first 100 days that made me immediately ponder whether or not he was at all fit to be our leader. Obama left big shoes to fill, so I partially blamed his vague foray into the presidency on that as well as the fact that it was a bit of a shock (to me, anyway) that he won the election to begin with. Either way, while his first term was met with some mild anxiety, it was mostly just a wait-and-see kind of approach to how we were going to weather 4 years and just hoping that nothing “major” like a war or other crisis (hi, covid) would happen while he was in charge. 

It was definitely not a time of high uneasiness, abundant fear, and outright terror like his first 10 days in office have been. 

Maybe I wasn’t spending as much time on social media then - or as much wasn’t covered as there is today. Maybe I was in such a different station in life that I didn't have the same fear conduits that I do today. Maybe my faith was blinder and thus a bit stronger so I faced things with less questioning and more trust. 

Or maybe this time is really different. 

After the barrage of executive orders (a phrase I’ve come to loathe) last week immediately after he took office, I was subconsciously sure that that was the worst, that he wanted to make a show in his first few days and then things would calm and settle a bit as he, and the rest of the world, settled into a rhythm of figuring things out with him as president. So when this week brought more of the same, and to some extent was worse than what we endured last week, I have really been taken aback. And it appears I’m not alone. Nearly everyone on social media is addressing it in some form or fashion. Night show comedians are running out of content that isn’t stale while conspiracy theorists are having trouble keeping up. It’s a constant sickening pendulum ride as we move from one weekend to the next like we’re all stuck on that giant rocking ship at the amusement park all wondering if it’s actually going to go upside down and all the way around this time. It’s a pattern I am desperate to see end quickly, yet I fear it’s truly just beginning. 

Because of this disgusting pattern of governing that he’s established in such a short time, I have sort-of accidentally curated a mental checklist of things that I feel like make me “aware enough” of what’s going on, or alert me to something that maybe I’m not “aware enough” about. 

Faith. I remind myself that God is still in control and that nothing that happens is out of his purview - none of this has surprised Him. Praise and prayer are acts of defiance against evil. Check. 

Compassion. I remind myself that above all else, I need to remain kind, compassionate, empathetic. Smile. Give compliments. Love. Check.

Self. I remind myself that I am only as good as I am taken care of. I cannot pour from an empty cup. Have I eaten well, drank water, gone for a walk, loved on my family, friends, and pets, and cried if necessary? Check. 

Vigilance. I remind myself that I am well-read and know the established signs of dystopias and dictatorships and detriments. I have seen the writing on the wall and add new acknowledgements to this based on the day. I am able to think critically. Check.

Artistry. Bridging off the previous, if I remember anything from the cautionary fiction and historical proofs, it’s that creativity is antithetic to oppression. Create. Read. Make music. Paint. Draw. Write. Pour into what makes a human human. Check. 

I rotate among these 5 practices (and others) multiple times a day admittedly along with a healthy dose of terror, grief, teeth-gnashing, and bemoaning. But I usually always circle back to accepting that I can only control what I can control. As much as I would love to rally the metaphorical troops to stop whatever nonsense is happening, I am ultimately powerless to do so and my worrying and fretting is only going to make me even more defeated. I have done my civic duty, I have prayed, and I am sharing my thoughts - the rest is not up to me. As Max Lucado says in his book Anxious for Nothing, “I hereby resign as ruler of the universe.” 

There is no right answer to managing these languishing ‘unprecedented times,’ but there are acts of humanism that have proven to help maintain the sanity, strength, and resolve we all need on a daily basis. 

May the odds be ever in our favor.